By the Numbers

Numbers have fascinated me ever since I can remember. They have ended up playing an important role in my professional life. And so I present some vital statistics regarding Toni’s life and death.

October 15, 1959, Toni was born to Wallace and Virginia Thompson. April 1, 2017, Toni passed away. On July 14, 1989, we were married. On May 4, 1990, our daughter Niketa came into this world and left it again.

Toni had five brothers (four survive) and two sisters. Wally, John, Patty, Mike, Linda, Keith and Kevin.

In September of 1977, Toni started work at the University of Michigan in the Registrar’s Office. Nearly 40 years later (only six months shy) she was still there. We were married for nearly 28 years (3 ½ months to go), but were together for 30.

Not including the cough medicine, the antibiotics and steroids she was on during her illness, Toni took seven types of pills in the morning along with two types of insulin injections, and three types of pills at night plus three types of supplements and more of both insulins, just to get through the day. Some of them worked against each other and some worked against the conditions she had. It was always a delicate balance. Sometimes in the past medications simply stopped working and either the dosages or the meds themselves had to be changed. And when that happened there was always an adjustment period. I would guess most people who knew her didn’t know how much energy it took; I’m guessing they couldn’t tell. As I said before, Toni was always Toni; maybe she was just having a bad day. Or maybe it didn’t show at all. Oh, and she slept every night with a CPAP machine.

“Normal” glucose levels are considered between 80-130. On the morning she died, Toni’s was 456. Diabetic comas occur at around 600. I don’t have the data on her blood acids or potassium but they were equally as bad.

We’ve had eight dogs over the years, four of whom have survived her.

Our “farm” is about 5 ½ acres and the dream house we put up 15 years ago is about 1749 square feet. It is about a 25 mile commute one way to the Office of the Registrar.

The number of events in our lives cannot be counted and the memories that result from those events are almost as many. A life cannot be reduced to numbers any more than it can recounted in words. There is too much going on all the time. So memories are what we keep; snapshots that represent a greater whole. We can’t keep track of everything, so we hang on to what’s important: good, bad and mundane. Is the mundane important? Oh yes. It is what fills up most of our lives. While we might not remember individual mundane events, we remember that we did them every day, again and again, and they become part of the tapestry we weave. Individual threads that we don’t see when we look at the bigger picture, but make up the background that gives the rest meaning. I don’t remember a particular rainy day, but I can remember a lot of rainy days. We don’t remember each of those days we all spent in school, but I do remember being in school and what it was like.

I will never forget Toni, but I’m afraid I will forget the details of our life together. Sure I have plenty of reminders around me, but…well, it’s not the same as having her here with me. Nothing will ever be like that. But my memories carry me on, and as far as I can see, the number of them are endless.